


the tricky bit

by somehowunbroken



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Codependency, Dehumanization, F/F, F/M, Gore, Horror, Incest, M/M, Multi, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, disturbing sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-15
Updated: 2013-01-15
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:41:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/pseuds/somehowunbroken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is John Egbert, and you love, love, love your friends. [A Trickster story.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	the tricky bit

**Author's Note:**

> Read the warnings, read the warnings, read the warnings.
> 
> I started writing this the night before Jane turned into Trickster Jane, so... yeah. I don't think the updates really had an effect on the story I had planned to write, and Trickster Jane isn't mentioned at all, so there aren't any spoilers for current goings-on.
> 
> Slight clarification: they're underage, but it takes place post-SBURB, so they're all 16-17.
> 
> Just to reiterate: please read the warnings. All of the things in the "archive warnings" section and the "additional tags" section appear in this fic, and they're not subtle (with the exception of the major character death, which is insinuated at the end). If you want further clarification on any of the warnings, email me (somehowunbroken at gmail dot com) and I'll go into more detail.

Your name is John Egbert, and you love, love, love your friends.

“Dave,” you laugh, grabbing him by the hand and yanking. He tumbles into you and you fall back, catching yourself on air just above the ground. Dave grins down at you, peering over the top of his heart-shaped sunglasses. “Dave, that was awesome!”

“I know,” he says, tossing his head like he’s posing for some kind of photo shoot. From this angle, it’s hard to tell which parts of his hair are his normal candy pink shade and which are streaked through with blood. “Either I hit it harder than I meant to, or heads pop off _way_ easier than I thought.”

You giggle and run your hands up his arms. “My, what big muscles you have, Mr. Strider.”

You and Dave both turn to look as Jade laughs. She spins around, arms outstretched, dancing in the puddle that’s growing around Dave’s kill. 

“Come on, you sillies,” she says as Rose touches down next to her. Rose crouches to inspect the body, running her fingers along the neckline like she’s never seen anything so cool. She smiles as she drags her fingers from the front of the neck to the back. Jade laughs again, reaching over to scratch Rose’s scalp as she plays. “There are more, and they’re getting away!”

“But I want to celebrate,” Dave pouts, sticking his lower lip out so much that it’s ridiculous. “That was a good one, Jade, come on!”

You slip your hand into Dave’s hair and turn him until he’s facing you. Then you lean up and peck him on the mouth, pulling back almost immediately. He tries to follow you, but you tighten your fist in his hair and keep him an inch away. He pokes his tongue against your lip, your nose, your teeth, and you laugh as you slide your hand from his hair to his cheek. You leave a smeared trail on his face; apparently you stuck your hand in a bloody spot instead of just into hair gel.

“We can celebrate more later,” you promise, tracing your fingers across his face, watching as the trails fade as you go. “Jade’s right! There are more that we can get!”

“You owe me,” Dave says, still pouting, but now he’s not really upset. You smile as brightly as you can and he smirks, leaning back in and pressing a tiny kiss to the end of your nose. “More later.”

“More later,” you agree. He climbs up and you float back to your feet. Jade crouches so she can grab Rose’s hand and pull her upright, and then the four of you are off, flying down the street towards where the rest of them had gone.

“Last person to get one is a rotten egg!” Jade crows, dropping Rose’s hand as you get to the end of the street. She flies to the left, and Rose grins like a shark and heads for the right. Dave shrugs at you when you glance at him.

“I already got one,” he says smugly. “If I try for any more, they’ll all fall down dead from sheer fear, and then you’ll _all_ be rotten eggs. I don’t want to live with the smell.”

“ _You_ smell,” you shoot back, rising into the air and heading away from Dave.

Dave laughs and gives you a lazy salute as you fly higher, already scanning your surroundings.

“Best of luck,” he calls up to you. “No, really, you’re going to need it. I think Jade is already on her way back.”

You glace to the left; sure enough, Jade is already bounding back towards you and Dave, dragging one behind her.

“I’ll beat Rose!” you declare, spotting one hiding in a clump of bushes and taking off. “I’ll be right back!”

-0-

You do not, in fact, beat Rose.

You’re only gone for five minutes, maybe six, but when you get back to the starting point with your kill in hand, Rose is sitting serenely in Dave’s lap, cradling a head between them.

“Aw,” you complain, dropping yours to the ground. It makes a really gross sound, and you pull a face at it. “I would have won if it hadn’t yelled and run around so much!”

Rose is up instantly, leaning over to poke and prod at your kill. It makes some more gross noises, and she smiles.

Dave snorts and reaches out with his foot to poke at your kill. “Jegus, John, it was a rotten-egg competition, not a who-can-hit-the-hardest competition.” He tilts his head so his sunglasses slide down his face and smirks at you. “Besides, yours still has its head on, so I win that anyway.”

“I threw my hammer at it,” you admit, and Rose puts a hand over her mouth as her shoulders shake. You pout at her. “It was running away!”

“It’s no fun if you don’t play with the toys,” Jade agrees. She’s already taken her prize from this one, a big yellow-and-white striped bow that she’s stuck in her hair. It looks really weird against the bright orange, but you think that’s probably the point. Maybe. You have no idea; your sister is weird. She smiles at you as she twirls again. “Did it beg?”

You puff up your chest. “Of course it did! Wouldn’t you?”

“Of course,” Jade agrees immediately. “If you were running after me, I’d beg…” She trails off, and you wait, wait, wait for the punch line that you know is coming. Finally, she whoops. “I’d beg for you to run faster and give me a challenge!”

You put your fists on your hips and stick your tongue out, but Jade has collapsed across Dave’s lap, and he’s laughing with her.

Rose stands up and moves to your side, sliding her arm around your waist and leaning her head against your chest. You immediately toss your arm over her shoulders and try to stick your tongue out even farther. Dave and Jade just laugh more.

“At least you still think I’m scary,” you mutter to Rose. She blinks through teal bangs, shaking her head and patting your hip comfortingly.

Dave laughs so hard he falls over, and Jade follows him right down. You sniff. Serves them right.

-0-

“I’m hungry,” Jade whines as you head home. It’s a long flight, and you kind of agree with her by the time you land; you feel like you haven’t eaten in ages, even though you all had a huge breakfast before you went hunting this morning.

Dave tosses his prize at Jade and jerks his head towards the stairs when you land. “Put mine upstairs and I’ll find us some food.”

Jade catches the card and grins, flying over to give Dave a hug that would probably crush his bones if he weren’t a god. “Thanks!”

“Anything for you, doll,” he says, shoving his sunglasses up into his hair and winking. She giggles and floats up the stairs, heading for the prize room.

“What did you grab?” you ask, spinning the watch you took around and around your wrist. It’s way too big for you; the one you killed today was really, really big. It’s a nice shiny toy, though, so you don’t mind.

“Driver’s license,” Dave says, shrugging. You roll your eyes.

“One of these times I’m going to guess it, and that’ll be the one time you pick something else,” you complain. Dave always takes the driver’s license. He says it’s because they stack up easily and it saves a lot of room for the big prizes you and Jade sometimes get. You think it’s because he secretly wants to wallpaper the prize room with his kills, and he’s just biding his time.

You grin as he shrugs and think you’ll probably just let him, when the time comes.

Dave disappears into the kitchen and you drop to the sofa. Rose curls in beside you, laying her head on your chest and grabbing a fistful of your shirt.

“Hey, Rosie,” you say, wrapping an arm around her waist. You’re always afraid that you’re going to break Rose, at least a little. You know how strong she is and you’ve seen her get clocked pretty hard without getting hurt, but she just seems like she might snap like a twig at any moment. It makes something swell in you to think about it, something big and awful and sad, so you just pull her in a little tighter and watch your strength carefully. “Did you have a good time?”

She nods and smiles into your collarbone, and you laugh. “Oh, good! You sure were fast today, Rosie.” You wait until she nods again, still smiling. “Did you get a prize?”

She lifts her hand from your chest and brushes her hair behind her ear. You look down and see the earrings, big and full of some glittery red stone. You whistle. “Nice one. You might win for prizes today.”

She reaches across your body and taps your new watch and you grin, bringing it closer so she can inspect it. “Yeah, mine is nice, too, but yours really sparkle.”

She shakes her head and the earrings catch in the light, glinting off of your glasses. You laugh and tease your fingers along the line of skin at her stomach. She squirms, breathing out gaspy little laughs, and you grin so hard your face might crack as she knocks her head against your collarbone.

“Rosie, Rosie, Rosie,” you sigh as you still your fingers, resting them against her hip. “What would I do without you?”

She shifts so she can look up at you, and when you turn to look down at her, she gives the most exaggerated pout you’ve ever seen on anyone’s face. You laugh and squeeze her the smallest bit. “You’re right. It would be just awful.”

She nods and leans up to kiss your chin. You smile and hum, and she moves to straddle your hips. She fits comfortably, folding her legs to either side of your knees, and you link your fingers together behind her body and rest your hands on her lower back.

Kissing Rose is fun. You really like kissing in general, and when you’re kissing Rose, you’re close enough to hear the noises she makes, the gasps and the hitches and sometimes, if you’re really good, the tiny, tiny whines from the back of her throat.

Your concentration breaks when Jade sighs from the bottom of the stairs, and Rose pulls back to look at her. She smiles and reaches a hand out, and Jade doesn’t waste any time in making her way to the couch and leaning into you. Rose leans down to nip at Jade’s ear where it sticks up out of her hair, making Jade giggle and pull Rose down for a kiss.

You untangle your hands and pull one of your arms back, draping it around Jade’s shoulders as you tuck Rose in a little closer to your chest. You play with the ends of Jade’s hair, running your fingers through it again and again as Rose kisses Jade and rocks in your lap.

“And here I thought I was the one who wanted to celebrate,” Dave says. You tip your head back on the couch and find him standing in the door to the kitchen, head tilted as he looks at you. You smile.

“Nothing says you can’t join us,” you point out. “In fact, I think it would make everyone a lot happier.”

Dave shakes his head and jerks his head back into the kitchen. “Food’s ready, or I would take you up on that.”

You sigh and tug on Jade’s hair until she pulls away from Rose. “You ruin all the fun, Dave,” you accuse, setting Rose on her feet as Jade stands. She yanks you off the couch as soon as Rose gets clear, and you can’t help but wrap your arms around her and squeeze, lifting her off the ground and carrying her towards the kitchen while she laughs and smacks around your ears.

Dave grabs your elbow as you pass him and you pause, turning to look at him. Jade hits your glasses and your drop her with a yelp. She backs into the kitchen, laughing, and when you fix your glasses and look at Dave, he’s smirking, too.

“Next time, invite me,” he says, tugging you down and biting at your lips. You groan and slide your fingers into his hair, tilting your head and tipping his up, and yeah, yeah, you really like kissing.

Dave bites you again and you press the length of your body against his, pinning him against the wall. He reaches up to shove his shades into his hair and kisses you hard and deep and wet, and the only thing stopping you from celebrating everything Dave has ever done right here in the doorway is the feel of Rose’s hand in the crook of your elbow, tugging you away from him.

You break away to look at her and she raises an eyebrow, glancing over at the table. Jade is sitting in her spot, looking longingly at you and Dave before turning the same gaze on the tray in the middle of the table. Rose taps your elbow again and you let go of Dave, taking a step back and shaking your head to clear it. You smile down at her when the world stops spinning. “Sorry. You know how it is.”

She smiles back at you and taps two fingers to her chest, then taps them against yours. You can feel your smile grow as you lean over to kiss her forehead. “I love you too, Rosie.”

She takes Dave’s hand and yanks him towards the table, and he laughs as he pulls out her chair for her. “It ain’t special, but it’s good,” he says when he leans over and heaps food onto Jade’s plate. It’s pasta tonight, full of melted cheese and butter, and you shove your plate towards the center to make getting your share a little quicker. Dave grins and serves you, and you wait while he does the same for Rose and then himself.

Dave sits down and puts his elbows on the table, one to either side of his plate, and then raises his hands into the air. The rest of you copy him, turning your palms to the ceiling, and you smile as Dave starts. “Good hunt.”

“Good hunt,” Jade says, looking at you.

“Good hunt,” you agree, and Rose nods twice.

“But not the best,” Dave continues.

“Not the best,” Jade says immediately, showing her teeth when she smiles.

“Not the best,” you say. Rose shakes her head three times.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Dave says, his own smile appearing on his face.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Jade repeats, and you do the same. You all look to Rose, who smiles, closes her eyes, and tilts her head down. After a moment, she looks back up and bares her teeth.

Jade whoops and slams her hands against the table as you laugh and do the same, and Dave claps his hands and grabs his fork. “Carb time,” he says. “Then we celebrate.”

-0-

“So, Mister Big Shot,” you say when the food is done and the dishes cleared. You’ve made your way up to the big bedroom that you all share, and you look at Dave expectantly. “Your celebration, your choice. What are we doing tonight?”

“Rose’s choice,” Dave says immediately. You’re not surprised; Dave doesn’t love being in charge of much of anything, not when it’s between the four of you, and you’ve all got a soft spot for Rose. She smiles and leans into his side, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “What’ll it be, sis?”

Rose closes her eyes and drums her fingers against her leg for a moment before nodding and opening them up again. She looks around the room for a moment before turning back to Dave, going up on her toes and wrapping her arms around his neck. He immediately leans down to meet her lips, holding her hips to steady her. She bounces slightly and he bends and lifts, and then Rose locks her legs around his waist and settles against him.

You reach down to pull Jade against your side, and the two of you watch as Rose tangles one hand in Dave’s hair and taps on his back with the other. You miss half of what her fingers tell him, but he starts moving after a moment. He sets her on the edge of the bed and steps back, yanking his shirt over his head and tossing it back to the burn pile. Rose raises an eyebrow when he looks back at her, hands already unzipping his jeans, and he stops and shrugs. “Sorry. Impatient.”

She waves a graceful hand and you laugh as Dave skins out of his pants, leaving them where they drop when he moves back to the bed. Rose pats the mattress beside her and Dave sits immediately, waiting for her to climb into his lap before he curls his hands around her hips again.

“Rose,” he breathes against her lips, so soft that you wouldn’t have heard it if you weren’t cheating, moving the air and bringing the sounds towards you. It ruffles Rose’s hair, and she rolls her head on her neck. She raises a shoulder and looks over it, tilting her head at the bed. Jade beats you there, but only just.

Rose keeps one hand in Dave’s hair and reaches out to tap Jade’s knee with the other. You grin; she’s learned not to bother dictating to you while she’s kissing Dave like that, because you absolutely cannot concentrate enough to listen when there’s something like this to watch. You want nothing more than to lean in and lace your fingers with Dave’s, to really participate in what’s going on, but you wait, wait, wait.

“Oh, Rose, I like it when you make the plans,” Jade says after a minute. You turn back to face her and raise an eyebrow, and she grins at you. “Naked time.”

“My favorite time,” you joke, standing and pulling Jade after you. She hovers and snaps her fingers, and your clothing flies apart at the seams. She beams down at you as you pull her in by her forearms, both of you laughing as you kiss her.

“I need to do mine,” she protests when you break to let her breathe. “Rose said I should take my panties off.”

“Can do,” you say, tweaking the breeze to slip up her skirt. You make the elastic snap against the flat of her stomach before pulling her panties down. She balances on your shoulders as she steps out of them.

“Teamwork is the best,” Jade giggles, kicking her panties in the general direction of the burn pile. She slides her arms around your shoulders and presses up against you, grinning. “Guess I don’t have to ask if you’re ready, huh?”

You grab her hips and thrust against her. You only mean to do it once but your hips rock forward again, and then again. She hums and pushes away from you, and you can’t help the whine that falls from your mouth.

Dave groans, and you turn to face him. Rose has her face tucked against Dave’s neck, and from the way Dave is breathing, she’s probably biting him just how he likes. When he rocks against her, you can see the curve of her smile peeking out.

“I think they’re ready, Rose,” he says. She pulls back and turns, and a grin flashes across her face before she climbs out of Dave’s lap. She shoves at Dave’s shoulder and he lies back obediently, legs still sprawled over the side of the bed, though he spreads them when she nudges at his knees. She leans over to kiss him again as she works at the sash holding her skirt up.

Jade moves behind Rose and takes over, loosening the sash and pulling Rose’s skirt and panties down in one go. Rose rocks back when Jade slips a thigh between hers, but she bats Jade’s hands away when Jade goes to slide them up her shirt.

“What’s the plan, Rosie?” you ask as she stands between Dave’s legs. She looks at you over her shoulder before stepping away and pushing you forward to take her spot. You grin and rest your hands on Dave’s thighs. “You want me to do him, or the other way around?”

Rose taps on Dave’s thigh and he lifts his leg obediently. She keeps raising it until you lean forward and get his ankle hooked over your shoulder, and she nods approvingly.

“Sounds good to me,” you tell her, reaching down as Dave hands you the lube. You’re really not very good at prep; you’re way too impatient to take the time to do it right, and you always end up rushing. Dave hasn’t ever complained, though, not once since the very first time you all decided this was a good way to celebrate, or commiserate, or just spend a night.

He groans when you push two fingers into him, cold and slick with lube. You count to five in your head before you start moving them, spreading the lube around and stretching him out as you thrust. Dave whines and grabs for your arm, but Rose snatches his hand in midair and holds it tightly. He turns to look at her, eyes wide behind his glasses, and she reaches over and plucks them off his face with a smile.

“Come on,” Dave says, blinking first at Rose, then at you. “This isn’t celebrating anything. This is torture.”

“You love it,” you reply, shoving your fingers in and curling them up just right. Dave lets out a sharp noise and jerks his hips. You reach for his cock but pause before touching it, looking at Rose. She shakes her head and you shrug, pulling your hand back.

“Please,” Dave whines.

You shrug again. “Sorry,” you say. “You put Rose in charge, and Rose says no.”

Dave turns to look at Rose, and you take his distraction as a good time to pull your fingers out and grab the lube. You pour a bunch into your palm and grab your dick, making sure you’re good and slick before wiping your greasy hand against Dave. He looks back to you as you push in, and you watch as his eyes flutter shut.

“Better?” you tease, and he opens his eyes up enough to look right into yours as he smiles, big and bright, and hooks his other leg over your shoulder, too. You pull him in by his thighs until he’s resting against you, and he lets out a happy little noise and reaches up to brace himself against the top of the bed.

You’re about to really start when you feel Rose’s hand on your arm. You turn and pout at her, but she just grins up at you and shakes her head. She grabs Dave’s ankle and makes him bend his leg until his foot is resting on the edge of the bed. It makes you slip out a little and you whine, but Rose just pats your cheek and moves to repeat the process with Dave’s other leg.

“Okay,” Dave says, “less comfortable position, I’m in. Is there a reason we’re doing it this way, or-”

Rose pulls her shirt off, tosses it to the side, and bends over to swallow whatever else Dave was going to say. You slide his feet apart a little more on the bed as you start moving, and he groans into her mouth.

“Rose,” he gasps when she pulls back. “Can I – please-”

She pats him on the cheek and turns, holding her hand out to Jade. Jade grabs her hand and helps Rose balance as she swings a leg over Dave’s torso, shimmies back towards you, and sits lightly just above his pelvis. She could have used her powers and gotten herself there, sure, but you’ve learned that as much as you like using your abilities in every situation, Rose prefers doing things the mortal way for dramatic effect.

It works; Dave arches his back when Rose leans forward to rest her hands on his shoulders, and the sight is so amazing that you stop moving and just watch. There’s part of you that wishes you had Jade’s vantage point because she can see their faces, but then Dave moans and shifts and, right, you were doing something.

“Wait,” Jade says when you pull back. You and Dave groan at the same time, but she just laughs. “Let Rose get comfortable before you make her seat move, John, geez.”

“Nobody ever said I wasn’t a gentleman,” you say, going still and grinning. “Anything for the lady.”

Rose sits back up and turns so she can give you a sweet smile. She flutters her eyelashes and you laugh, putting a hand on your chest and bowing your head.

“Whatever your heart desires, Miss Lalonde,” you say, grinning at her. She turns away from you again, and you watch as she reaches behind herself to grab Dave and hold him steady while she kneels up and then sinks down onto him.

“Oh,” Dave groans. “God, Rose, John, oh my God.”

“Gods,” Jade corrects, smirking down at Dave. “Don’t pick and choose favorites, Dave. It’s not nice.”

“I would never,” Dave says. You think he’s probably going for solemn, but you probably wouldn’t be able to manage it either, not if you were in his position. He opens his mouth again, but all he can do is groan as Rose starts to move. You are a gentleman through and through, so you let her set her own pace before starting to move again.

“Jade,” Dave gasps, flinging his hand out towards her. “Jade, Jade-”

You figure out what your sister is going to do half a second before she does it, so you flick the breeze at her skirt as she flies and kneels over Dave’s face. The skirt settles around his head, blocking out all the light, and he whines when Jade lowers herself towards him.

“Please,” you hear him mumble, and you watch as Rose taps twice on his bare stomach. _Go ahead._

Dave moves his hands under Jade’s skirt, and a moment later Jade hums happily. You grin harder and pick up your pace, watching as Rose does the same. You work together, the four of you, a well-oiled machine here as you always are, and you always, always take care of each other.

After all, that’s what family is for, right? You all keep each other happy, with everything you do.

And oh, oh, are you all happy.

-0-

You’re satisfied, you’re a little sore, and you’re exhausted. It’s been a long day, and you all need your rest. Pulse and Haze has been making noise about bringing some friends by for a challenge, and you get the feeling that it might be soon.

“Tired,” Dave mumbles from beside you. Rose nods in agreement, her head resting on his shoulder, and shoves at your arm until you sit up in bed.

The shelf isn’t anything special, not really. It’s a trophy shelf just like any of the others you have in the house, but it’s the only one in this room, and it’s for the real trophies, the special ones. These are the ones you all make sure you touch every day, and it’s become sort of a tradition to sleep with them. These are from your first kills, after all. It’s important to remember where you started, isn’t it?

Usually you each grab your own on your way to bed, but you don’t mind getting everyone’s when you’re all this tired. You’ve got enough energy left to stir the wind, to pick them all up and deliver them to their rightful owners.

Jade smiles at you as you drop the bowtie on her chest. She wraps it around her ponytail as usual, then helps Rose wrap the pink scarf around and around her waist. Dave already has the baseball cap tugged down over his eyes when you turn to look, so you smile and reach up to put the fedora on your head. It’s still a little big, but you don’t mind. You lie back down and fit yourself along Dave’s side; Jade presses against your back, and you close your eyes.

You sleep, and even in your dreams, you smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I warned you about this fucking fic, bro.
> 
> There's more in my head, but I firmly stopped it here, because I think that's enough insane bloodthirsty tricksters for everyone in one go. If anyone is actually interested, I may write a sequel.


End file.
